Platitudes

No pain, no gain! Just do it.

The 1980s were full of these sorts of slogans that could fit on a T-shirt or bumper sticker. That meant someone had a vested interest in making sure these platitudes stuck around in the public consciousness, although they’ve never really needed much help.

Let’s take a look at the word platitude. That first part, plat, sounds a lot like flat in modern English. That’s not a coincidence: by the early 1800s, a group of writers in England had begun to use the word to describe the flatness inherent in any oversimplified message.

If something was flat, it had no depth, so this was a pretty big insult. At the same time, these platitudes could be found among English literature that was widely read and discussed among scholars, and these literary critics had finally had enough of flat writing.

We’re talking about eyeroll-inducing clichés like:

• Everything happens for a reason.

• Honesty is the best policy.

• We must all play the hand we are dealt.

• It is what it is.

It certainly is whatever it is! When isn’t it?

In fairness, I snuck that last one in there—it’s a modern invasion, er, invention. Still, if these are so obviously trite and seemingly useless sayings, why do we keep using them?

For one thing, if you ever need to change subjects and don’t know how to do it, you might get away with a platitude. Saying everything happens for a reason is a good way to pave over genuine tragedy and to mask pain. While this may not be psychologically healthy, it certainly keeps a good Victorian-era conversation going!

On to the next topic, please. Time heals all wounds, and it is what it is.

They’re a bit like Band-Aids in this sense, not actual medical triage. Still, if you’re stuck and don’t want to feel uncomfortable for a few seconds while you consider something meaningful, platitudes are generally at-the-ready. No cognitive heavy lifting will be required, and no extended moments of discomfort need be felt here.

This is, after all, Victorian England!

No, that’s not right. It’s the 1980s, where I began today. Some top platitudes I remember (and which the internet helps me remember) are:

• Shit happens

• What goes around comes around

• Just say no

Two questions for you today: first, do you find yourself using any of these today? If not, which of the platitudes you hear make you cringe the most?

Second, which platitudes do you remember from your own childhood?