Voluntary Pay Week

“Voluntary pay week” sounds like something out of a dystopian novel set in the near future. Money is now scarce, so bosses must now volunteer, every so often, to pay their employees for the week they’ve just worked.

If your employer really likes you, you’ll get paid. If not, you’ll probably turn to a life of crime, but there’s a good chance you’ll get caught since Big Brother is watching and listening all the time.

This was no sci-fi novel, but instead a part of my job as a paperboy.

My mentor was a local kid who had something I did not: a modicum of street smarts. I listened and learned:

Carrie taught me not only how to deliver the papers throughout the neighborhood (they went on the edge of the porch, never into the mailbox) in a thoughtful manner, street by street so the route was efficient; she also taught me how to walk up to houses, one at a time, and ask for money.

We had a script, too:

Hi! It’s voluntary pay week for the Richland Northeast Newspaper, and I’d like to know if you’d like to give a dollar.

I was tenacious enough at this to win a major award from the newspaper, and I made more money by asking for it than I did by assembling and delivering newspapers to houses. This was reinforcement of the idea that I might be able to earn more if I did uncomfortable things (like asking for money), or if I worked much harder.

Still, this euphemism really sticks with me, but I get it: beg-for-your-pay week doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.