Ah, NOW I get it. My wife keeps saying she wished I was better at foreplay, and I always wondered what that was. She was talking about my terrible golf skills!
I relayed your new understanding of foreplay to my wife and she got a chuckle out of it. She then related how one of her relaxation techniques to help the grandkids get to sleep - relax your shoulders, your shoulders are floating away. Relax your forearms, your forearms are floating away. The grandson said, I have eight arms, I have two forearms!
I was once asked to give a speech for Father’s Day to a large gathering. The idea was to list those fatherly events my three children felt were significant. So I asked them what they remembered about me as a father when they were growing up. I was expecting memorable events like when I sang them “Happy Birthday” with my guitar or a special meaningful gift I gave for Christmas. Instead I was dismayed to hear them tell of seemingly insignificant events I was never aware of. For example, our son mentioned the sound of the door as it swept across the carpet when I came to wake him up for breakfast. My daughter mentioned watching me shovel snow in the midst of a snowstorm. Another daughter mentioned how she would hide her peas under the plate so I thought she ate them all (we were members of the clean plate club). I realized they were memories of real life rather than some grandiose image I had of myself.
When I read your story, I realized I had been focused on the big Star (me), rather than the planets orbiting the star which contained the real life. Those things were out of my field of vision (or awareness) because I felt they were of little value for my speech. So, for my speech I ended up focusing on the little things a father usually never gives a second thought to. It was a valuable lesson. Thanks for that, Andrew.
Nice! I feel like I have to turn inward first since I haven't done that much, and I want to be sure everything is accurate... but also, my focus is always going to be outward, to the rest of the world and the rest of the people. I think my life is very, very collaborative when you get down to it.
I know a few people who peaked in HS. I’m not sure when I peaked, depends how you measure; could have been 50. I did some intentionally big stuff personally that year; it’s a good inflection point.
I think you have not yet peaked, because we've only just met, and anywhere we go together, we automatically double the amount of Andrews present (unless there was already an Andrew there, which can happen). We have far to go!
Haha for sure, and to be clear I'm totally content with all the decisions that brought me up to my 60th year, including the professional biggie to get out of the game/grind before it killed me.
But there is a recognition—keep in mind I'm the Andrew+10 years model—that I'm now on the other side of that curve and so on a glide path of sorts.
At 50 I took a long sabbatical from work and realized something that informed the next 6yrs before I got out of the grind. That was I could be pretty frikkin happy roaming the earth slurping soup and I didn't need the grind or fame or fortune to feel self actualized.
I love that inner peace and feeling of having a life that is good just as it is. I'm getting there! Being here has helped a lot, because it's really more of a community for me than anything else. I guess maybe it's a marketing platform for a lot of authors, but I certainly don't see it that way, and I think my mental health is rewarded for that perspective.
And: I hear you on the glide portion! I've thought a lot about how my ability to remember details and my ability to react quickly to things both are already declining, and I can see how that'll accelerate as I age. My hope is that all this wisdom I'm slowly collecting makes the 2nd half that much better, albeit with a declining vessel to get me there.
Our bodies and brains really are just operating systems when you get down to it, and seeing it that way helps whenever I might otherwise get irritated with human behavior.
It’s a process and the first thing is giving yourself the mental space to figure it out, like you are. My couple years of writing here have similarly helped me through to enjoy my present in the context of my past. We’re pretty fortunate to have this opportunity!
Yeah: selling shoes does not compare to scoring touchdowns at all.
What kind of shoes, though? It could matter.
Ah, NOW I get it. My wife keeps saying she wished I was better at foreplay, and I always wondered what that was. She was talking about my terrible golf skills!
Foreplay, cosplay... it might be a bad idea to mix those two things up too.
I relayed your new understanding of foreplay to my wife and she got a chuckle out of it. She then related how one of her relaxation techniques to help the grandkids get to sleep - relax your shoulders, your shoulders are floating away. Relax your forearms, your forearms are floating away. The grandson said, I have eight arms, I have two forearms!
I was once asked to give a speech for Father’s Day to a large gathering. The idea was to list those fatherly events my three children felt were significant. So I asked them what they remembered about me as a father when they were growing up. I was expecting memorable events like when I sang them “Happy Birthday” with my guitar or a special meaningful gift I gave for Christmas. Instead I was dismayed to hear them tell of seemingly insignificant events I was never aware of. For example, our son mentioned the sound of the door as it swept across the carpet when I came to wake him up for breakfast. My daughter mentioned watching me shovel snow in the midst of a snowstorm. Another daughter mentioned how she would hide her peas under the plate so I thought she ate them all (we were members of the clean plate club). I realized they were memories of real life rather than some grandiose image I had of myself.
When I read your story, I realized I had been focused on the big Star (me), rather than the planets orbiting the star which contained the real life. Those things were out of my field of vision (or awareness) because I felt they were of little value for my speech. So, for my speech I ended up focusing on the little things a father usually never gives a second thought to. It was a valuable lesson. Thanks for that, Andrew.
Nice! I feel like I have to turn inward first since I haven't done that much, and I want to be sure everything is accurate... but also, my focus is always going to be outward, to the rest of the world and the rest of the people. I think my life is very, very collaborative when you get down to it.
I know a few people who peaked in HS. I’m not sure when I peaked, depends how you measure; could have been 50. I did some intentionally big stuff personally that year; it’s a good inflection point.
I think you have not yet peaked, because we've only just met, and anywhere we go together, we automatically double the amount of Andrews present (unless there was already an Andrew there, which can happen). We have far to go!
Haha for sure, and to be clear I'm totally content with all the decisions that brought me up to my 60th year, including the professional biggie to get out of the game/grind before it killed me.
But there is a recognition—keep in mind I'm the Andrew+10 years model—that I'm now on the other side of that curve and so on a glide path of sorts.
At 50 I took a long sabbatical from work and realized something that informed the next 6yrs before I got out of the grind. That was I could be pretty frikkin happy roaming the earth slurping soup and I didn't need the grind or fame or fortune to feel self actualized.
I love that inner peace and feeling of having a life that is good just as it is. I'm getting there! Being here has helped a lot, because it's really more of a community for me than anything else. I guess maybe it's a marketing platform for a lot of authors, but I certainly don't see it that way, and I think my mental health is rewarded for that perspective.
And: I hear you on the glide portion! I've thought a lot about how my ability to remember details and my ability to react quickly to things both are already declining, and I can see how that'll accelerate as I age. My hope is that all this wisdom I'm slowly collecting makes the 2nd half that much better, albeit with a declining vessel to get me there.
Our bodies and brains really are just operating systems when you get down to it, and seeing it that way helps whenever I might otherwise get irritated with human behavior.
It’s a process and the first thing is giving yourself the mental space to figure it out, like you are. My couple years of writing here have similarly helped me through to enjoy my present in the context of my past. We’re pretty fortunate to have this opportunity!
Glad you're here. I'm gonna have a load of questions soon enough.