Boogerpedia
This is a booger:
Technically, she’s a metaphorical booger and not a real one.
What’s a real booger, then? Curious reader, I’m so glad you asked!
Boogers are, at their core, no more than dried up mucus. These little dried snot-balls are the end-result of an incredible, sophisticated process that happens inside your nose.
Mucus, our central hero, is slimy and wet. This makes it perfect for trapping dust and dirt particles, along with other tiny things like harmful bacteria or viruses and allergy-causing pollen that are floating in the air. That’s the main reason for its existence, and I’m very grateful for snot.
Mucus also continually helps prevent the inside of your nose from drying out. This doesn’t just help you stay comfortable, but it also prevents irritation and damage that could easily lead to an infection where raw tissue meets the air.
Fortunately for us, tiny hairs in your nose (cilia) gradually move the mucus around in there in both directions, keeping our nostrils coated. The mucus that moves toward your throat is swallowed (yum?), while the stuff that heads toward your nostrils is either blown out, or turned into boogers.
A sneeze can be one way mucus escapes, too. You can read a bit more about that here if you’d like:
Natural Sneezasters
Every now and then, a sudden, violent event will occur, causing everyone to stop what they’re doing and take a look. Sometimes it’s a powerful earthquake that seems to come out of nowhere, tearing apart the very fabric of the ground. Other times, a cosmic rock will smash into the earth’s surface, creating a massive explosion and shaking the surrounding area to its core.
Boogers are a part of this same incredible system of defense. As the mucus dries up, you’re left with them inside of your nostrils.
They’re considered gross in the same way that poop is (all of my poop writing can be found here), although way less stigmatized. Is this fair, though? Well, yes and no.
Yes, boogers do contain viruses and other things your body has filtered out. However, they’re not really in the same category as poop or pee, which are waste products. Boogers, on the other hand, are part of your body’s defense system, trapping the harmful stuff before it gets all the way in.
While boogers almost certainly do contain plenty of inactive germs that were trapped by mucus, they’re not virtually overflowing with living stuff the way poop is.
Even still, there’s quite a stigma! Revenge of the Nerds—a seminal movie from my childhood that has aged like milk in the warm sun—even featured a character called Booger, showcasing the public’s disdain and disgust for actual boogers.
If you want to continue this journey into your nose with me today, let’s go here next:
The Nose Knows
An incredibly sophisticated molecule detector senses the air. It begins to collect samples, processing them in its olfactory factory, where individual molecules search for its precise corresponding docking station, like the right key going into a precise lock.
Did you know much about boogers before today? What other somewhat gross bodily functions should we think about next?
Boogers are basically air filters. I’m disappointed you didn’t make that analogy.
Not really, but did you know that I once stood in line for a movie behind the actor that played Booger? I played it cool and didn’t talk to him but I was impressed at how kempt (?) he was compared to the movie. I suppose if you played a character named Booger, you’d probably be mindful of such things 15-20 years later.
Snot funny.
Yes, it is!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!