47 Comments

Perfect timing for this because I can now weave it into my essay that covers a similar angle and comes out on the 21st . It's a perfect actionable way to start moving even if it isn't perfect.

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It's like I flung some brain-goo out there, and you scooped some of it up this morning.

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I enjoyed the Catcher In The Rye back in high school, and even remember the very last line sticking with me: "Don't tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

I always saw it as Holden finally having a vulnerable moment and admitting that, for all his attempted cynicism and "people suck" stance, he does cherish and seek a connection with others in his own way.

As for me, I can't really relate to this "not trying too hard" thing. I've always been automatically amazing at everything I've ever tried, especially bragging and lying.

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Rather ironically, I read "Catcher" for the first time by studying it at school. Even at that time, I felt Holden wasn't acting or speaking truly as himself, but as a defensive reaction to a world he didn't understand and seemingly didn't want him. His sister Phoebe was the only one who could get to the real guy beneath all of that.

I have to think Salinger suffered from the same issues. Besides "Catcher", he only published a few other stories and novellas before he permanently went silent as a writer. But he could afford to do that...

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I think most kids read Catcher as a student. It's kind of odd that the book is only really exposed to kids that way these days, especially if you consider that irony you bring up.

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It's basically been typed as a YA novel- although when Salinger wrote it, that publishing category didn't exist.

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I mean, young adults can and should read it, but that categorization is very funny for this book.

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Yes, fear of embarrassment is one way in which fear rules the world…

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One of the superpowers of my advancing age is truly, honestly not giving a hoot about most other people's opinions. This frees up a lot of emotional clutter that used to trouble my mind. I do love learning about other people, their ideas, and their animal pals, and Substack is a great place for that.

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Agree! I'm getting there, Suzanne!

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"Most" other people's opinions is the key that I relate to there. As a Substack writer I've actually noticed myself caring more than I used to about "some" people's opinions. It's a bit of a block at the moment and I think it's holding me back from having more success using the style I employ. I could explore what I think are the main reasons...it's cheaper than therapy. Interested? Or anyone else?

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I'm interested in your experiences! When I was employed, the opinions of my bosses and coworkers did matter to me, sometimes to an unhealthy degree. These days, the regard of my spouse is most important.

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Yeah, for sure - we need to have guidance from people we care about, but at the same time, what we create here is a part of our identity... or at least that's the way I see it. This is me, at least for a couple of hours every day.

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The way I prefer to write is to start with a personal anecdote or story - and expand into commentary which is often social, political, philosophical etc. It's a standard successful formula for columnists. What I struggle with lately is knowing there are readers who know me personally who may appear as characters in these essays. This is certainly not a new problem for creatives through the ages - from poets, to musicians, to film producers, to authors. But I'm also a big privacy advocate so I try to tread lightly (I've actually asked permission a couple of times). No names other than "a friend" or "my sister" etc...

One friend asked whether or not that was him I was referring to and I told him it was. It was a fairly neutral point I was making, but we know this technique can go sideways and relationships go sour because of something published.

The other part about worrying about "some people's opinions" has to do with how the world is a complete mess. My essays tend to go against common narratives, or at least take a deeper dive in search of "truthiness." I worry that people just skim and get the wrong impression because attention spans suck these days. Or it goes over their heads entirely. Nothing I can do about that. Why do I fret about it? Oops I kind of took this in a different direction.

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I worry about both of those things you called out, too.

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But does it make you "not try too hard" sometimes? I have stuff on the back burner in draft or notes that just sits there. One day maybe I won't care as much.

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No, I don't think so. If anything, I need to try harder on the basis of communicating my intentions more precisely or carefully. I probably do fear the "trying too hard" thing at some subconscious level, though, because I know it afflicted me when I was younger, and those habits tend to hide in sneaky spots.

I definitely worry about folks misreading my intention. It's easy to say, "that's their problem", but unfortunately, that's not how I see my job.

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You sure have a lot more mental discipline and orderliness than I can currently drum up. Seems like an age old problem of writing what you know while not offending or endangering the people from whom you draw inspiration. I'm not actively writing content to share, but the details I have saved up to write about would definitely end some relationships.

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Some things are better left unsaid (and unwritten).

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That is a superpower Suzanne! I keep working on it and our family role model who introduced it still models it for us on the regular. She doesn't know she's doing it and she doesn't care

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The Sniderman family creed is ‘Spiderman gives no fucks’ See your 3rd to last paragraph. There’s a funny meme or a hundred with Spider-Man on just this but alas no pictures in comments. Why Substack why?!

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Oh man, pictures here would be fantastic!

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I like this place too. You can 'bounce' ideas off of people. Or they can tell you another view of seeing things. I know everyone is busy doing their own thing, but I appreciate the ones who come by and visit my posts and read them, giving their views and incites. I wished we all could do that.

And I agree with you. Don't try too hard. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Don't hurt yourself.

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Yeah, the conversations are important!

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My grandad always said. "You are only as good as your word. When working, do your best. Show up early, leave late, work hard from beginning until end."

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I so wanted to see your goat avatar do martial arts, but "Goaten Caulfield" was certainly a nice touch!

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I figure my profile pic will have to suffice for now.

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I wonder who, I'd anyone would write and post here if they were not really trying. I think it's more those paralyzed by fear of failure who don't write anything or don't even try. Lurkers, encouragers, people who make many supportive statements... I wonder how many of the silent ones might be truly great if only they believed in themselves...

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Good point. I wasn't really thinking about Substack when I wrote this today (apart from my own experiences), but this place is probably an excellent use case for this advice.

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Well now Catcher in the Rye is on my “to read” list again. I had so much assigned reading while getting my MBA that I had stopped leisure/self-development reading.

I have absolutely used the “didn’t fail, not trying” mindset and excuse. Of course that white belt subbed me - he’s a competitor and I’m just a hobbyist. Of course I didn’t get an interview for that job - I didn’t really tailor my resume to the listing.

I needed to hear this again. Thanks Andrew!

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That's great to hear, Tony! You got this.

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I bought a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" at a baseball stadium. I loved it so much, I returned the next week for what I was told was a sequel that, for some reason, took place in a bakery: "Pitcher in the Pumpernickel".

I've spent almost 3 years on Substack, now, Andrew, just waiting to get that one off my chest (protector).....so, thank you! I can now exhale!

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Brad, if we're not making someone groan, are we even living?

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Happy to not be a kid anymore......glad to be a groan-up!

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totally great post - and lots of self-recognition in it. I wrote about it from my perspective here

https://open.substack.com/pub/riclexel/p/is-the-fear-of-success-holding-you?r=bcx26&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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For me, assuming the worst has freed me to just go for it. I mean, everyone is already thinking the worst anyway, right?

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It's a hell of a silver lining, but it is indeed very silver.

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I have seen over the years a small number of people put continuous effort into learning and improving. For remaining, it is generally one or more of: I am not smart enough, people focused on other things, for example, some people have an interest in other areas like you mentioned, and some do not want to put in the effort. Additionally, quite a few people give up and move to easier things once they encounter something hard, and that gives an advantage to people who want to put effort into learning/mastering something even though it is hard or even if they are not “Genius”. A great example is Richard Feynman; as far as I have seen, even with an IQ of 125, which is below the genius level (I know IQ is not a perfect indicator of someone's intelligence), he was able to win a Noble Prize and was one of the best teachers in Physics if not the best, which tells us if you apply yourself, you can achieve a lot even a Noble Prize is a possibility.

I may have mentioned Charlie Munger's quote before:

"Spend each day trying to be a little wiser than you were when you woke up. Discharge your duties faithfully and well. Systematically you get ahead, but not necessarily in fast spurts. Nevertheless, you build discipline by preparing for fast spurts. Slug it out one inch at a time, day by day. At the end of the day – if you live long enough – most people get what they deserve."

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I love Munger and Feynman. Have you read anywhere that the 125 IQ for Feynman was really a thing? I've never heard or read it reported, and frankly I would not be too surprised to learn that Feynman's IQ was actually more like 150.

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Yes, I did. I remember someone explaining the reason for it. From Wikipedia (https://tinyurl.com/ye26jw2e). Look under education:

Feynman attended https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Far_Rockaway_High_School, which was also attended by fellow Nobel laureates https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burton_Richter and https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baruch_Samuel_Blumberg.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman#cite_note-20 Upon starting high school, Feynman was quickly promoted to a higher math class. An IQ test administered in high school estimated his https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligence_quotient at 125—high but "merely respectable", according to biographer https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Gleick.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman#cite_note-FOOTNOTEGleick199230-21https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Feynman#cite_note-FOOTNOTECarroll19969-22 His sister Joan, who scored one point higher, later jokingly claimed to an interviewer that she was smarter. Years later he declined to join https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mensa_International, saying that his IQ was too low.

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Nice, thanks! I hadn't read that before, or if I had, I had forgotten. I'm pretty sure I know way too much about Feynman... and probably Munger too, FWIW.

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I use his number to tell my son what is possible, not pay too much attention to these tests, and apply the Munger quote as it worked for me, as something similar was told to me by my father just before I started my first job.

I will see if I can find the explanation for a lower score and share it here.

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Here's a TL;DR for the lower score thing: IQ tests are mostly BS.

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Found it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-next-einstein/201112/polymath-physicist-richard-feynmans-low-iq-and-finding-another

I suspect that this test emphasized verbal, as opposed to mathematical, ability. Feynman received the highest score in the country by a large margin on the notoriously difficult Putnam mathematics competition exam, although he joined the MIT team on short notice and did not prepare for the test. He also reportedly had the highest scores on record on the math/physics graduate admission exams at Princeton.

It seems quite possible to me that Feynman's cognitive abilities might have been a bit lopsided — his vocabulary and verbal ability were well above average, but perhaps not as great as his mathematical abilities.

I agree with you about IQ or even personality tests. My son was required to take it for admission to 3rd grade in a private school, and he did very well, but I wanted him to try hard stuff even when people think he is not intelligent. So, I told him Feynman's example and said it is more of how you apply yourself than a score that matters in life.

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Always a pleasure reading your writings Andrew - in fact I’d say I well enjoy it ;)

Have a great day!

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Thanks, Riley!

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