Mirroring reminds me of butt sniffing. Holdup - like dogs do when they’re sussing each other out. I ran into that all the time in customer meetings with technical teams. The alpha tech bro/gurl would aggressively suss out my tech abilities and only after i passed the butt sniff test could we run around and play in the field together
I highly recommended his books and videos. My work has been with complex systems (Sante Fe Institute) and machine learning. I took several online courses here:
I think this is why eye contact was always hard for me growing up. (I mean, other than it likely being tied to autism.) I think I was afraid of that connection with people. Maybe I still am. But when I look into the eyes of someone I trust, I feel like there is true understanding between us.
If it's someone you know well, it kinda feels like it bypasses the potential for betrayal, right? I mean, it certainly doesn't really do that, but at least it really does feel that way to me.
Then again, maybe it bypasses betrayal if the person is VERY close to you. I can see how it would be tough to lie deliberately under those circumstances, even if you were used to lying under other circumstances (for what it's all worth, I am NOT a fan of lying to a partner).
So, is this why a bunch of us write about our high school selves recently… our brain waves synced up and drew forth similar memories to share and analyze?
Of the ways I’ve experienced this syncing with others, the most visual is dressing the same. Eight women, in our own homes, each pack for a weekend getaway, arrive together and go about our weekend activities, which include group photos… and we are all in the same color clothes. I’m not talking black or white… like the same harvest gold and medium gray combination. OR my husband dresses and leaves for work before I’m conscious. I finally wake and get dressed. He walks in for lunch and we have on the “matching” sweaters. (I could go on, but you get the point…) Is it brain waves syncing or some form of mimicking those you admire?
That's a great question, and I really have no idea how far that phenomenon truly goes. The brain wave sync thing isn't super mystical or anything, but you are REALLY in sync with someone when that happens... it would not surprise me one bit to discover that you and hubs are often in that space.
All I know for sure is that I'll be continuing to learn about this phenomenon, especially since it touches on so many other things I'm interested in.
There's a genetic component to mirroring. Interestingly, those of us who’ve experienced a non-paternal event (NPE) or misattributed parentage are subconsciously aware of the lack of genetic mirroring: that we don't look or act quite like others in the family. This often doesn't become fully conscious until much later in life. In retrospect, we realized something didn't feel quite right.
I think you chose the right career path! That really is a fascinating case study, and I can only imagine the profound impact to identity one feels in such a situation.
If you've written any stuff on this material you think my readers might appreciate, please feel free to leave some of that here. I know some folks out there dive deep in the comments.
Fun fact, you can't look into someone's eyes....you can only look at one eye at a time.
Pedantic points are positively praised presently.
(it's 100% true and it's actually a good point!)
Mirroring reminds me of butt sniffing. Holdup - like dogs do when they’re sussing each other out. I ran into that all the time in customer meetings with technical teams. The alpha tech bro/gurl would aggressively suss out my tech abilities and only after i passed the butt sniff test could we run around and play in the field together
Oh yeah, I totally also meant dogs when I was talking about sniffing butts. What? Nothing!
I read this back in 2012. Recommended, as is most of his work.
https://www.amazon.com/Sync-Emerging-Science-Spontaneous-Order/dp/0786868449
Nice! I just bought this on Audible (my credits literally just turned over for the year yesterday). This is just what I'm looking for.
I highly recommended his books and videos. My work has been with complex systems (Sante Fe Institute) and machine learning. I took several online courses here:
https://www.santafe.edu/
P.S. I have Audible but have never used it. I need to not waste my money and use it or lose it.
Not a big fan of TED, but some are good:
https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=ssteven+strogatz+sync+videos&mid=C2DE5CB2A7BF4F90FDF6C2DE5CB2A7BF4F90FDF6&FORM=VIRE
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbN57C5Zdl6j_qJA-pARJnKsmROzPnO9V
I think this is why eye contact was always hard for me growing up. (I mean, other than it likely being tied to autism.) I think I was afraid of that connection with people. Maybe I still am. But when I look into the eyes of someone I trust, I feel like there is true understanding between us.
If it's someone you know well, it kinda feels like it bypasses the potential for betrayal, right? I mean, it certainly doesn't really do that, but at least it really does feel that way to me.
Then again, maybe it bypasses betrayal if the person is VERY close to you. I can see how it would be tough to lie deliberately under those circumstances, even if you were used to lying under other circumstances (for what it's all worth, I am NOT a fan of lying to a partner).
I think about this every single day. I’m so happy you wrote about it!
There's a lot going on there, right?
Yes. It’s meaningful and important in a million and one ways.
So, is this why a bunch of us write about our high school selves recently… our brain waves synced up and drew forth similar memories to share and analyze?
Of the ways I’ve experienced this syncing with others, the most visual is dressing the same. Eight women, in our own homes, each pack for a weekend getaway, arrive together and go about our weekend activities, which include group photos… and we are all in the same color clothes. I’m not talking black or white… like the same harvest gold and medium gray combination. OR my husband dresses and leaves for work before I’m conscious. I finally wake and get dressed. He walks in for lunch and we have on the “matching” sweaters. (I could go on, but you get the point…) Is it brain waves syncing or some form of mimicking those you admire?
That's a great question, and I really have no idea how far that phenomenon truly goes. The brain wave sync thing isn't super mystical or anything, but you are REALLY in sync with someone when that happens... it would not surprise me one bit to discover that you and hubs are often in that space.
All I know for sure is that I'll be continuing to learn about this phenomenon, especially since it touches on so many other things I'm interested in.
There's a genetic component to mirroring. Interestingly, those of us who’ve experienced a non-paternal event (NPE) or misattributed parentage are subconsciously aware of the lack of genetic mirroring: that we don't look or act quite like others in the family. This often doesn't become fully conscious until much later in life. In retrospect, we realized something didn't feel quite right.
I think you chose the right career path! That really is a fascinating case study, and I can only imagine the profound impact to identity one feels in such a situation.
If you've written any stuff on this material you think my readers might appreciate, please feel free to leave some of that here. I know some folks out there dive deep in the comments.
Well, my series called Secrets from My Twilight Zone is an interesting journey exploring these kinds of feelings and searching for genetic relatives. https://johnmoyermedlpcncc.substack.com/p/secrets-from-the-twilight-zone
Thanks for making me yawn with your evil yawn gif.
One reader down, every other reader to go.