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j.e. moyer, LPC's avatar

Interesting factoid: Maslow never drew a pyramid to represent his hierarchy of needs. That was added to business management textbooks to help students visualize it more concretely.

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Andrew Sniderman 🕷️'s avatar

Maslow’s Pyramid looks great on a PowerPoint slide. I bastardized it regularly to represent product progression, product maturity. We need visuals to make the complicated comprehensible. Self actualization? Fulfillment? We know those are the goals, but they are hard to define. Fun, especially kid fun feels a lot simpler and recapturing something that brought you joy as a kid is complicated by first-time syndrome (soon to be a business visual).

New experiences, easy when you’re 6, harder when you’re 60. A year ago, I included Maslow’s pyramid in a piece called ‘Passion wont pay the rent.’ At that time I charted my path to fulfillment as a visual with the subtext that this is the work of your life. It was weird to read it again just now, I think fulfillment is a continually changing objective. The goalposts, they ever move.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Fulfillment is always changing and that finish line is always over the horizon for me. I know I am getting more done as a result (which in my mind directly equates to "making the world a better place", so I'm very motivated), but wonder if the trade-off is worth it. It's a LOT to be so ambitious, but I've long had this curse. You too?

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Andrew Sniderman 🕷️'s avatar

Nah, I'm chill now.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

I'll let you know when I get to chill!

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Andrew Sniderman 🕷️'s avatar

It’s not easy!

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j.e. moyer, LPC's avatar

A better visualization for Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs was offered by Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman. It’s a sailboat. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/sailboat-metaphor/

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Thanks, JE! I have become really interested in psychology lately after a lifetime of (largely) ignorance. I really appreciate when you weigh in here on stuff like this. I am fascinated!

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Daniel Gmyrek's avatar

Waking up with our dachshunds is high on my list. Walking before dawn is another.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Yes! They somehow bring both fun and fulfillment into our lives.

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Daniel Nest's avatar

At this point, I think it's usually the little things rather than big, grand goals, if I'm honest. Just having a nice day with the kids where everyone's having a good time and laughing. Being able to work on Why Try AI and watch it grow gradually. Taking time off together as a family during school holidays. That kinda stuff. Doesn't sound particularly sexy, but I'd rather be content in the little stuff than constantly chasing some grand pie in the sky.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

I love it. I want all that too (I mean, slightly different presentation, but similar mundane/peaceful outcome), but feel as though I'm going to need to fight to get there, if that makes sense. I dunno, maybe I am just that dude who walks over to the edge of the cliff every time and talks about how dangerous it is or something- but also, that cliff really is deadly.

Not my best analogy, but I think you get where I'm coming from.

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

Okay, I'll play your game. I haven't been happy in so long that I've forgotten what used to make me happy. I thought getting married would make me happy, but it didn't. I thought adopting kids would fulfill me, but it doesn't. Work is just work. I write, but it's more to get the stories out of my head than true happiness.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Well, I'm glad you're here, Joseph. I'm here for conversations and thinking, and we're quite similar in needing to get these things out of our heads. I don't have any great bit of wisdom or whatever, but what about the distinction between fun and fulfillment? Does that part resonate?

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

Finishing a book does give me a sense of fulfillment. The marriage isn't fulfilling, and I love my kids, and want what's best for them. I guess fulfillment will come when they go out on their own and do good.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

I hope so, but honestly I am just taking it as it comes myself. Some days are better than others, but I find a sense of fulfillment in helping folks understand things. I have to be careful not to be preachy or come across like a know-it-all, but that has become a strong focus for me. I guess it has always been a focus, if I'm honest - both of my folks were teachers, and I think it's almost kinda in my blood.

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