Platitudes

Good things come to those who wait.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It is what it is.

When you hear a phrase like these, do your eyes roll? These are generally overused sayings that probably once contained profound wisdom, but now they’ve lost nearly all of this power.

In fact, you’re most likely to hear one of these platitudes whenever someone wants a conversation to end. A little bit of social unease or some kind of emotional distress can being triggered by a conversation, and then one person drops one of these little quieting bombs onto the wordscape.

Try listening out for one of these the next time you witness a conversation one person wants to end.

What’s happening here? Why does uttering one of these trite phrases allow a conversation to end?

One way to think about this is that one person’s discomfort is handed off to the other person. Person one might ask, “When do you think you’ll get that raise?” Instantly, person two is uncomfortable and insecure, so to counter this, they use their best defensive tactic: the platitude.

Person two might then search their mind for one of the available phrases, like “It is what it is” or "these things tend to work themselves out over time."

Hearing this lets the other person know right away that this is a sensitive topic. This give them a social cue to move on.

Psychology offers a different lens through which to view platitudes: as part of a social script.

These are sequences of expected behaviors in certain situations. Utilizing a platitude allows individuals to adhere to these scripts, smoothly navigating away from potentially awkward (or painful) social interactions.

This dual role of platitudes in both linguistic pragmatics and emotional regulation highlights their complex function in our social fabric, so it’s not just conversational filler after all.

Personally, I tend to roll my eyes whenever I hear one of these sayings, but that’s because I’m usually genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Still, I recognize discomfort when I see it, and if this is someone’s defensive mechanism to avoid this discussion, I’m just astute enough to move on.

Well, most of the time, anyway.

Sometimes, I like to use the platitude to point out something about language. When someone says, “it is what it is,” I might respond with something like, “It certainly is!”

That way, the conversation that made the other person uncomfortable ends but we get to nerd out about platitudes instead. That usually makes us both happy.

What are some platitudes you’ve come across in your conversations? Are there any of these conversation-ending quiet bombs that you like to drop yourself from time to time? Let me know in the comments!