I tend not to think that any question is silly. Honestly, when I was in High School, I was known as the teachers pet because I would get 100% on most of my papers and help the teacher in grading, etc. I was also in the Learning Disability wing though. I ALWAYS stood out and grew to be used to it... I cried most days after school because you really can't IMAGINE how cruel some people can be. I also had the theatre, etc. to go to after school and take my mind off things though. I was treated normally there and when I couldn't go to the theatre, etc. for whatever reason there were always tv shows, movies, etc. I was like Harry Potter going to Hogwarts. At least theatre was some days but I had Choir rehearsals, along with Choir itself each week. At 16yrs they tried brain surgery on me but they couldn't locate the trigger spot to my seizures to take it out. I was HUGELY depressed but my theatre friends helped me. A few years later, new technology was found and I tried again. This time, they could locate the trigger spot and I got surgery. I also had to relearn to walk, talk, eat, etc. because my left side was temp. paralyzed but surprising many I learned and over time it all came back. My point.....my life as a teen was HUGELY different than many but I am me and I really don't care who would have an issue with that. As a teen, I cared a bit more but as an adult...I really could care less. I'm just glad that I'm alive and glad others are too. Lifes to short to waste worrying...I learned that WAYYY too young. I know that I lost alot growing up ill though because on certain days I'm rather smart. Who knows what I would have been able to do if I hadn't been ill. Again though, lifes too short to even think about that too much.
I think it took me a lot longer to learn the lessons, since I could sort of get away with not learning them for a long time... but once I finally accepted the mantra that I was put on this planet to represent everyone's "silly" questions, it has been uphill ever since, and I've never looked back.
I’m never afraid to ask questions that make me look silly. Silly looks good on most people, IMHO. Can hide who you really are if that’s what you want.
An old saying, “free take, pay money ask questions”.
I raised a highly gifted child. Before I knew he was “gifted”, when he began talking as a baby, he learned the one question a person ever needs: “come from?”.
I like to when I can, too, but I also like to empower people like you, who are often sitting right next to me, by asking the uncomfortable question on your behalf.
In my group of friends, it was all about the music. I read as many music magazines as my mom would buy me. And, yes, you never admitted when you didn’t know something.
Even though I hung with the oddball/misfit crowd (punk back in the day), there were still ways in which you had to conform (maybe it was by not conforming? Hahaha).
I’m not sure when I learned that it’s best to just acknowledge when you didn’t know something vs trying to pretend you do. Probably pretty soon after high school when conformity was less important. As a woman, there are a lot of times I have pretend I don’t know something that I actually do… some men like to explain things and get upset if you already know too much lol
I do absolutely love how easy it is to learn about anything these days.
That reminded me of how much gatekeeping there was in the punk community. It was supposed to represent the exact opposite, but all of us fell victim to human nature.
AFAIK, the capital of Luxembourg is Luxenistan, not IYKYK.
Too bad there's no way for me to verify that information.
Jokes aside, I'm always trigger happy when I don't know something - I just immediately look it up. This even happens when the kids ask me something and I honestly tell them that I'm not sure, the proceed to look it up. Hopefully that'll show them that it's okay not to know as long as you're curious and seek the answers.
Really great article. I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes too many, apparently, because I can be perceived as annoying. It's just that I HATE IT when I don't undnerstand something. Sometimes I have to accept that I don't have to get the answer or understand everything. Womp, womp.
Sometimes I ask the questions that other people want to ask, but don't. Sometimes those questions may seem a bit inappropriate. *shrug*
Whitney, feel free to ask me stuff any time! I love being able to help you find answers, and I feel like we make each other just a little bit smarter every time. I'm your huckleberry.
You're making me think of all the times in my teenage years when someone said something and I had no idea what they were talking about but I'd pretend to know because not knowing would just get me ridiculed. Ugh. I don't miss that. I'm glad now I can admit I don't know something. Some may still laugh but I don't care anymore. LOL
When I was young, I was afraid to ask questions. As I grew older, I asked a few question. Today, I ask very many questions, even if I look silly asking the questions.
For most (I am in that category, too), asking questions becomes easier as you get older. However, you also realize that many people do not ask questions even though they do not know the answer because they are afraid that others will think their question is stupid or that they are the only ones with that question, and everyone else knows the answer.
I like Richard Feynman's quote:
“I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here. I don't have to know an answer. I don't feel frightened not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell.”
And the other version of this quote:
“I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong. If we will only allow that, as we progress, we remain unsure, we will leave opportunities for alternatives. We will not become enthusiastic for the fact, the knowledge, the absolute truth of the day, but remain always uncertain … In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar.”
He was willing to look dumb. Like the below example from "Surely You Must Be Joking, Mr. Feynman":
Some people think in the beginning that I’m kind of slow and I don’t understand the problem, because I ask a lot of these ‘dumb’ questions: ‘Is a cathode plus or minus? Is an an-ion this way, or that way?’
and then you will know he was exceptional:
[L]ater, when the guy's in the middle of a bunch of equations, he'll say something and I'll say, "Wait a minute! There's an error! That can't be right!" The guy looks at his equations, and sure enough, after a while, he finds the mistake and wonders, "How the hell did this guy, who hardly understood at the beginning, find that mistake in the mess of all these equations?"
I've read and watched everything Feynman ever wrote or was a part of, or at least everything I could find. He was such a great example of how to think about things, how to stay curious. I know he had his own neuroses too, but his path was one of wonder and discovery, and I've never forgotten how inspiring that really is.
I have BS and MS in Physics and I went thru the books that were his lectures in Physics and he taught me more physics than all my physics teacher combined. He was a great teacher. Here is an example (Can Machines Think?):
I consider this one of the beauties of getting older and caring less about what people think. Some people are never able to make the transition, and I feel pretty sad for them, because shedding all the shoulds is so damn liberating.
Also, the smartest people I know are able to acknowledge all the things they don't know.
We see things the same way. I guess that's one of the coolest things about approaching age 50: it's just much easier to see the ways we used to trap ourselves. Unfortunately, I needed several decades of experience before I could make some of these changes, but fortunately, I plan to enjoy them for several more decades!
I also plan to enjoy those pictures of Greece you're going to post soon!
Insatiable curiosity.
I tend not to think that any question is silly. Honestly, when I was in High School, I was known as the teachers pet because I would get 100% on most of my papers and help the teacher in grading, etc. I was also in the Learning Disability wing though. I ALWAYS stood out and grew to be used to it... I cried most days after school because you really can't IMAGINE how cruel some people can be. I also had the theatre, etc. to go to after school and take my mind off things though. I was treated normally there and when I couldn't go to the theatre, etc. for whatever reason there were always tv shows, movies, etc. I was like Harry Potter going to Hogwarts. At least theatre was some days but I had Choir rehearsals, along with Choir itself each week. At 16yrs they tried brain surgery on me but they couldn't locate the trigger spot to my seizures to take it out. I was HUGELY depressed but my theatre friends helped me. A few years later, new technology was found and I tried again. This time, they could locate the trigger spot and I got surgery. I also had to relearn to walk, talk, eat, etc. because my left side was temp. paralyzed but surprising many I learned and over time it all came back. My point.....my life as a teen was HUGELY different than many but I am me and I really don't care who would have an issue with that. As a teen, I cared a bit more but as an adult...I really could care less. I'm just glad that I'm alive and glad others are too. Lifes to short to waste worrying...I learned that WAYYY too young. I know that I lost alot growing up ill though because on certain days I'm rather smart. Who knows what I would have been able to do if I hadn't been ill. Again though, lifes too short to even think about that too much.
I think it took me a lot longer to learn the lessons, since I could sort of get away with not learning them for a long time... but once I finally accepted the mantra that I was put on this planet to represent everyone's "silly" questions, it has been uphill ever since, and I've never looked back.
Wow, you rock!!!!!!!!
I’m never afraid to ask questions that make me look silly. Silly looks good on most people, IMHO. Can hide who you really are if that’s what you want.
An old saying, “free take, pay money ask questions”.
I raised a highly gifted child. Before I knew he was “gifted”, when he began talking as a baby, he learned the one question a person ever needs: “come from?”.
I really like this, Collette:
"Silly looks good on most people, IMHO."
We worry so much about it, but if you can just embrace this as a part of your personality, it will never bother you again.
I prefer to do my own research to avoid creating awkward situations.
I like to when I can, too, but I also like to empower people like you, who are often sitting right next to me, by asking the uncomfortable question on your behalf.
In my group of friends, it was all about the music. I read as many music magazines as my mom would buy me. And, yes, you never admitted when you didn’t know something.
Even though I hung with the oddball/misfit crowd (punk back in the day), there were still ways in which you had to conform (maybe it was by not conforming? Hahaha).
I’m not sure when I learned that it’s best to just acknowledge when you didn’t know something vs trying to pretend you do. Probably pretty soon after high school when conformity was less important. As a woman, there are a lot of times I have pretend I don’t know something that I actually do… some men like to explain things and get upset if you already know too much lol
I do absolutely love how easy it is to learn about anything these days.
That reminded me of how much gatekeeping there was in the punk community. It was supposed to represent the exact opposite, but all of us fell victim to human nature.
Exactly!
AFAIK, the capital of Luxembourg is Luxenistan, not IYKYK.
Too bad there's no way for me to verify that information.
Jokes aside, I'm always trigger happy when I don't know something - I just immediately look it up. This even happens when the kids ask me something and I honestly tell them that I'm not sure, the proceed to look it up. Hopefully that'll show them that it's okay not to know as long as you're curious and seek the answers.
"Developing permission to be curious" is a phrase I keep returning to.
Really great article. I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes too many, apparently, because I can be perceived as annoying. It's just that I HATE IT when I don't undnerstand something. Sometimes I have to accept that I don't have to get the answer or understand everything. Womp, womp.
Sometimes I ask the questions that other people want to ask, but don't. Sometimes those questions may seem a bit inappropriate. *shrug*
Whitney, feel free to ask me stuff any time! I love being able to help you find answers, and I feel like we make each other just a little bit smarter every time. I'm your huckleberry.
They are often spur of the moment questions. Maybe I'll make a list!
You're making me think of all the times in my teenage years when someone said something and I had no idea what they were talking about but I'd pretend to know because not knowing would just get me ridiculed. Ugh. I don't miss that. I'm glad now I can admit I don't know something. Some may still laugh but I don't care anymore. LOL
That has to be one of the coolest things about getting a little older, just not caring about all the silly stuff quite so much.
When I was young, I was afraid to ask questions. As I grew older, I asked a few question. Today, I ask very many questions, even if I look silly asking the questions.
For most (I am in that category, too), asking questions becomes easier as you get older. However, you also realize that many people do not ask questions even though they do not know the answer because they are afraid that others will think their question is stupid or that they are the only ones with that question, and everyone else knows the answer.
I like Richard Feynman's quote:
“I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don't know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here. I don't have to know an answer. I don't feel frightened not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell.”
And the other version of this quote:
“I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong. If we will only allow that, as we progress, we remain unsure, we will leave opportunities for alternatives. We will not become enthusiastic for the fact, the knowledge, the absolute truth of the day, but remain always uncertain … In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar.”
Feynman was great at putting it all on the table. He led by example.
He was willing to look dumb. Like the below example from "Surely You Must Be Joking, Mr. Feynman":
Some people think in the beginning that I’m kind of slow and I don’t understand the problem, because I ask a lot of these ‘dumb’ questions: ‘Is a cathode plus or minus? Is an an-ion this way, or that way?’
and then you will know he was exceptional:
[L]ater, when the guy's in the middle of a bunch of equations, he'll say something and I'll say, "Wait a minute! There's an error! That can't be right!" The guy looks at his equations, and sure enough, after a while, he finds the mistake and wonders, "How the hell did this guy, who hardly understood at the beginning, find that mistake in the mess of all these equations?"
I've read and watched everything Feynman ever wrote or was a part of, or at least everything I could find. He was such a great example of how to think about things, how to stay curious. I know he had his own neuroses too, but his path was one of wonder and discovery, and I've never forgotten how inspiring that really is.
I have BS and MS in Physics and I went thru the books that were his lectures in Physics and he taught me more physics than all my physics teacher combined. He was a great teacher. Here is an example (Can Machines Think?):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipRvjS7q1DI
and his books:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0886BPLC1?binding=paperback&qid=1718640429&sr=8-7&ref=dbs_dp_rwt_sb_pc_tpbk
I consider this one of the beauties of getting older and caring less about what people think. Some people are never able to make the transition, and I feel pretty sad for them, because shedding all the shoulds is so damn liberating.
Also, the smartest people I know are able to acknowledge all the things they don't know.
We see things the same way. I guess that's one of the coolest things about approaching age 50: it's just much easier to see the ways we used to trap ourselves. Unfortunately, I needed several decades of experience before I could make some of these changes, but fortunately, I plan to enjoy them for several more decades!
I also plan to enjoy those pictures of Greece you're going to post soon!