When I was a small boy we had a black Cocker Spaniel we named Sambo. When I told my soon to be wife about the dog she had a shocked look on her face and blurted out, “That’s Racist!” Then she told me the story of how it came to be so. So, I get the landmine metaphor.
I once asked a girl I liked in university about what I thought was a perfectly innocuous tiny scar she had on her shoulder. Up until that point, we were having a nice chat. As soon as I brought up the scar, her face went blank and she gave me a stone-cold "I don't want to talk about it." That was the last time in my life I ever made small talk. (Citation needed.)
I understand that the further north you go, the less chit-chat people are interested in. It's much more like "mind your own business" than "let's all be friendly to one another" in Scandinavia (I'm obviously painting with a very broad brush here, so feel free to correct the record where I'm off).
I didn't get into it today, but it's noteworthy that taboos are different depending on where you are. I mean, duh obviously, but thinking about the specifics is one really good way to learn about culture.
I actually find Danes to be generally pretty good at small talk and surface-level casual connections. (Can't speak for the rest of Scandinavia with much authority.)
But what is true is that it's quite hard to become a true friend with a Dane - you'll always be kept at a sort of cool friendly distance without making it into their inner circle. After decades in Denmark, I can call only a few Danes true close friends, despite having many acquaintances. Most of my friends are from elsewhere in the world.
(As a counter-point, our closest friends of all are a Danish couple whom we tend to do many shared activities with, including celebrating every New Year's Eve together for the past 5 years.)
Interesting! I've noticed that my own preferences in terms of letting people into that inner circle have wandered a bit, but I've generally tended to be more cautious (so a bit more Dane-like?). People use the word "friend" to mean lots of different things, but I tend to use it more to describe a small, select group of people I know and trust quite well.
I'm not so uptight when someone else asks me about "your friend so-and-so" if they're more in the acquaintance or "work associate" bucket, but I do mentally note the linguistic discrepancy.
One holiday when too much family was around I decided we all should watch Happy Gilmore, because who doesn’t want to watch Happy Gilmore? My wife’s grandma was visiting and the showing was abruptly cancelled along with me when the whole nursing home plot line started to flesh out. Elder abuse is taboo, who knew.
The late 80s and early 90s were all about pushing those little boundaries for laughs, so it got dark at times as a result... but of course, I hardly noticed any of these things back then. I wonder how many of those movies would make us cringe upon rewatching. I'm guessing nearly all.
Cook was eventually killed when he got into a dispute with the indigenous people of Hawaii. Whether a "taboo" being broken by him or not was involved is unknown...
As was the case for the Roman Empire, the USA, and every other global leader in human history, as far as I can tell. I don't want to be pithy, but it really does seem like power inevitably corrupts.
When I was a small boy we had a black Cocker Spaniel we named Sambo. When I told my soon to be wife about the dog she had a shocked look on her face and blurted out, “That’s Racist!” Then she told me the story of how it came to be so. So, I get the landmine metaphor.
That's a great example. I have similar ones from my own life.
I once asked a girl I liked in university about what I thought was a perfectly innocuous tiny scar she had on her shoulder. Up until that point, we were having a nice chat. As soon as I brought up the scar, her face went blank and she gave me a stone-cold "I don't want to talk about it." That was the last time in my life I ever made small talk. (Citation needed.)
I understand that the further north you go, the less chit-chat people are interested in. It's much more like "mind your own business" than "let's all be friendly to one another" in Scandinavia (I'm obviously painting with a very broad brush here, so feel free to correct the record where I'm off).
I didn't get into it today, but it's noteworthy that taboos are different depending on where you are. I mean, duh obviously, but thinking about the specifics is one really good way to learn about culture.
I actually find Danes to be generally pretty good at small talk and surface-level casual connections. (Can't speak for the rest of Scandinavia with much authority.)
But what is true is that it's quite hard to become a true friend with a Dane - you'll always be kept at a sort of cool friendly distance without making it into their inner circle. After decades in Denmark, I can call only a few Danes true close friends, despite having many acquaintances. Most of my friends are from elsewhere in the world.
(As a counter-point, our closest friends of all are a Danish couple whom we tend to do many shared activities with, including celebrating every New Year's Eve together for the past 5 years.)
Interesting! I've noticed that my own preferences in terms of letting people into that inner circle have wandered a bit, but I've generally tended to be more cautious (so a bit more Dane-like?). People use the word "friend" to mean lots of different things, but I tend to use it more to describe a small, select group of people I know and trust quite well.
I'm not so uptight when someone else asks me about "your friend so-and-so" if they're more in the acquaintance or "work associate" bucket, but I do mentally note the linguistic discrepancy.
One holiday when too much family was around I decided we all should watch Happy Gilmore, because who doesn’t want to watch Happy Gilmore? My wife’s grandma was visiting and the showing was abruptly cancelled along with me when the whole nursing home plot line started to flesh out. Elder abuse is taboo, who knew.
The late 80s and early 90s were all about pushing those little boundaries for laughs, so it got dark at times as a result... but of course, I hardly noticed any of these things back then. I wonder how many of those movies would make us cringe upon rewatching. I'm guessing nearly all.
Cook was eventually killed when he got into a dispute with the indigenous people of Hawaii. Whether a "taboo" being broken by him or not was involved is unknown...
There may have been some hubris involved.
The British military as a whole in the 18th century was full of it.
As was the case for the Roman Empire, the USA, and every other global leader in human history, as far as I can tell. I don't want to be pithy, but it really does seem like power inevitably corrupts.